Kissing the Shadows
by BrutalWarElf
Summary: Fill for a tumblr prompt for Post-Doomstar nightterrors and subsequent comfort.


_Kissing the Shadows_

_Is this what young parents feel like?_ Skwisgaar wondered when a sudden distant cry woke him up for the third time that night. Rationally, he knew that it was unavoidable for Toki to experience some night terrors after his ordeal, but every time he heard him wail in his sleep it gripped his heart tight and gave it a firm squeeze. Skwisgaar slept a lot lighter since they had rescued Toki from Magnus' grasp and brought him home to Mordhaus five days ago.

Looking at his alarm clock, he wondered if he should get up and see if he could snap Toki out of his nightmares. Neither of them was getting any rest at this rate, and they had a gig to play tomorrow. He rolled around indecisively for a minute, but eventually slipped out of bed and felt around for his bathrobe, not bothering with any other garments for the short trip down the hall.

As he put his hand on Toki's door handle he paused. There was no sound coming from inside the room – wouldn't he unnecessarily disturb Toki's sleep by barging in? He wrapped his bathrobe around himself a bit tighter and adjusted the knot on his belt, torn between his instinct to check if Toki was okay and years of denying that he cared as much as he did.

Toki's abduction had been a catalyst for emotions he had been repressing for far too long, but this was not the right time to put his own feelings first.

Sneaking in on bare feet he intended to check on Toki quickly, but that changed when he heard the rustle of thrashing limbs under the covers. The soft cries which were unable to penetrate the thick wood of the door made Skwisgaar abandon all pretence. He rushed to Toki's side and laid his hands on his shoulders.

'Toki –'

He didn't see the fist coming in the dark before it slammed into his face.

Toki had his hands around his throat before uttering a confused and frightened 'Skwisgaar?' at the sound of his pained groan.

Skwisgaar knelt beside the bed and wiped a small trickle of blood from his nose with the sleeve of his bathrobe.

'I'm here, Toki.' He whispered.

It was awfully quiet before Toki let out a shuddering sob. Skwisgaar climbed onto the bed and pulled Toki in his arms like he should have done an eternity ago.

'Oh baby, what did they do to you?' He murmured into Toki's hair.

Toki fought down his sobs to gasp out an indignant 'I'm not a baby!'

'I didn't mean it like that, min lilla dumbom. I know you're not.' He placed a tentative kiss on top of Toki's hair. 'You should have given that scumbag Magnus a solid right hook to the face like that.'

'Well –' Toki hiccupped angrily, 'I was a little tied up – at the time.'

Crucified on an inverted cross. Skwisgaar remembered it all too well.

'It was so frightening – not being able to get through to him. He was so far beyond reason. He kept saying 'I'm not a terrible person', but he was, he was a downright sadist – he made me –' Toki trailed off, unable to put the horrors of his captivity into words yet.

'Toki, I'm so sorry.' Skwisgaar tightened his arms around his shaking shoulders.

Hot tears cooled on his skin when Toki rested his cheek against his chest. Skwisgaar helplessly ran his fingers through Toki's hair, accidentally brushing the thick ridge of that ugly stab wound.

Magnus burying his knife in Toki's side was hands down the worst thing he had ever seen in his life.

'That day at the funeral,' he brought out, 'I was so afraid I'd lost you. It makes me never want to let you out of my sight again.' It was easier to admit in the darkness of Toki's room.

Toki lifted his head off Skwisgaar's chest, the dark outline of his head level with his own face.

'Sorry, that sounded creepy.' Skwisgaar self-consciously pulled his bathrobe back over his shoulder where it had slipped, suddenly aware of the fact that they only had two pieces of clothing between the two of them and Toki's bare skin felt warm underneath his fingertips.

'Actually, that was pretty sweet, coming from you.' Toki breathed.

Skwisgaar would have given his right hand for a bit of light that moment so he could see if Toki was being sarcastic or not, but there was no need. Toki's feverish lips at the corner of his mouth said enough.

Someone had told him once that grief eroticises, and he discovered the truth of it when Toki slipped his hand under his bathrobe while they exchanged hot and awkward tear-stained kisses that made his heart beat against his ribs like a caged animal.

Skwisgaar pulled back as gently as he could muster. 'Älskling, not so fast.' He gasped.

Toki let out a sigh, hot breath tickling Skwisgaar's face.

'Will you stay with me, though?'

His bathrobe got tangled in the sheets while they settled under the covers of the narrow bed. There was barely enough room, but he wouldn't want to sleep any other way than curled around Toki. He twisted his sleek hair out of the way so he could press his lips against Toki's neck and nuzzle him.

Toki fell asleep in the process of kissing Skwisgaar's fingertips, and did not dream again.


End file.
